Chapter Three: Tourette's Guy.

As I mentioned in my intro, a couple of years ago I decided to try one of those free internet dating sites. I had never done anything like that before so I wasn't really sure what to expect, but I wasn't meeting anyone anywhere else and a hairstylist at the salon where I'd worked had met her boyfriend on the same site so I figured I'd give it a shot. When I filled out my profile, I did my best to answer the questions in ways that showcased my sarcastic nature. I wanted to sound funny, witty, and smart, so that I would attract someone with the same qualities. Most of the people who started messaging me were very strange, but one day I got an IM from someone who seemed very intriguing. He'd picked up on an obscure movie quote that had been overlooked by all of my other suitors, so I figured maybe he was worth talking to. 

Since this was my first time meeting someone from the internet, I was a little wary, and we talked for a long time before that was even an option. We exchanged countless e-mails about books, movies, music - most of all, music. It was a passion we both shared, and he even made me a mix CD for an upcoming trip I was taking. After that I decided that he was not, in fact, a crazy person - I was very wrong, but we'll get to that.

On our first date we went to see I Love You Man (great movie by the way) and, during the movie, I remember hearing these very strange noises coming from the seat next to me. He wasn't saying words, and he wasn't singing along to the movie's soundtrack, although at first I thought maybe that's what it was. It was more like short bursts of humming. "Hm. Hmm hm. Hm hm hm." Kind of like that - whatever it was, it was bizarre and I had NO idea what was going on. That happened intermittently throughout the movie; it wasn't constant and it wasn't incredibly loud, but it was often enough and loud enough for me to notice, and to wonder what on earth I had gotten myself into. 

After the movie, we went to a coffee shop to have some tea and talk, and during a break in the conversation, the noises came back. I wasn't sure what to say or how to ask about what was happening, so I think I just said something like, "You make cute noises," even though I thought they were more strange than anything else... Whatever it was I said, his response was, "Oh, didn't I tell you?" and when I shook my head to indicate that no, he had not told me, he continued with, "I have tourette's!" 

Not wanting to be the girl who doesn't want a date a guy because he has Tourette's Syndrome, I put on my biggest smile and asked him about it - I had only ever heard of the kind where people shout obscenities so it was honestly all really interesting to me. In fact, once I knew what it was, I was more at ease and still had a great time on the rest of the date. In the end, it was not the Tourette's that ended my brief courtship with Tyler. No, it was probably the fact that our second date ended with him asking me to split the tab or pick up the check (a $17 dollar bill, by the way, which I paid) at a restaurant HE had chosen. Or maybe it was because his idea of a "romantic" date was watching a movie on my laptop in his car. Or maybe it was the fact that he couldn't understand why I didn't want to drive up to his area (an hour north of me) to hang out with him when I'd already made plans in mine, just because HIS weekend had fallen apart. Or maybe it was the seven-text-message-long rant I received when I told him I wasn't sure if we'd work out, outlining every woman who had hurt him in his life, calling me a "vapid shell of a girl he used to know" when we only actually hung out for a couple of weeks. Yeah, that happened.


What are some of YOUR crazy dating stories? I'd love to know I'm not alone here.